I have my moments, moments where I just feel like it’s the right time that certain things are talked about. Unfortunately, the only real issue I have to talk to him about is something I don’t see changing any time soon. I completely understand where he is coming from, I understand why he feels the way he feels it’s just that I could never feel the same way.
Issue: Family
My point: Once you marry, you have made a vow to leave your immediate family to start a family of your own. A life where your significant other comes first no matter what the situation.
His view: Family, your blood. They have seen you through it all, they are there no matter what and no one knows the things you’ve seen like your…brothers.
It is really hard for me to say this because it is such a touchy subject when it comes to you and your spouse, family. For me, my Husband comes first, always. I stick up for him all of the time and back him up…even when I feel he is wrong, if he is that is something we discuss in the privacy of our own home. He completely understands where I’m coming from and has always shown that but he just doesn’t act on it. There are many reasons for this and I can’t really explain it to you as well as I could if you knew his family. It’s the hardest thing. I always take his word for it, he takes their’s. I cannot wrap my mind around that. So that’s why this time my words were this:
“I understand that you feel that way and I understand that it’s difficult for you but I have this view and it’s hard for me. I don’t ask you to stray from them or your views but I want you to understand that it can be really hurtful. That’s all, every once in a while this subject will come up because it does hurt.”
Husband says,”I want you to understand how much I appreciate this sacrifice. Your sacrifice to handle my family and our relationships is much greater than any sacrifice I’ve had to make and it has not gone unnoticed.”
I am so happy that I’m in a marriage where we can have discussions like these and talk to each other this way, it may be difficult but it’s also healthy. We have very different views here but we love one another so much that it’s something we share our words, accept, and agree to disagree. I’m not sure how exactly to explain, in full detail, the situations that lead to these conversations and I hate the way it makes me feel but I’m lucky to have a Husband that can talk through these things with me. I just can’t help but wonder if this is something I’ll have to worry about forever…I wonder if when we have a child it will change. Only time will tell.
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